How to Build Lasting Friendships…

( – To have successful friendships, we often seek out certain qualities. Sometimes we don’t find all those qualities we want in a single person but within a small group. One might tell us to “grow-a-pair” when we’re feeling sorry for ourselves. Another may offer, “You need a drink. I’m coming over,” when a shoulder to cry on is the only cure. No matter what sort of friends are right for you, here are a few tips that really make those relationships thrive.

Lock Down Your Ego

Healthy friendships work because there’s an equal give and take exchange. You must be genuinely happy for your friends’ accomplishments, and not harbor resentment. My “Keeper-Friends” will celebrate my triumphs, encourage good risks, cry with me through failures and believe I can do anything when I have doubts.

Be Yourself

True friendships last because we accept people for who they are. If we act like a different person when we’re with friends, then you’re not really YOU, are you? Fake facades and false realities fail. If you want to go from playground jungle gyms to porch rocking chairs, sipping sweet tea when you’re eighty, you must be yourself, no exceptions. That history together only makes that long journey sweeter.

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Don’t Judge

This can be tricky sometimes because everyone is raised differently; developing our own distinct moral codes. If you believe people think the same as you do, GAH!― they don’t. And if we judge others, doesn’t that make it our problem, not theirs? I’ve learned just because I don’t approve of something doesn’t make it wrong. Who am I to judge someone for making different life choices than I do? Once I let my major hang-ups go, my relationships improved dramatically.

Embrace Variety

No one can force someone into becoming the perfect friend. Having expectations is another “Me-Problem.” That’s why I have a variety of friends. Some are tough, telling me to put on my big girl panties when I’m whining. Others will cheer me up instantly by sharing their crazy life stories. A few are great listeners, allowing me to vent when I’ve had a really bad day. They key here is to be flexible and let everyone be themselves. When we do that, it creates a great circle of support.

Nothing is better than recalling those lifetime memories of grooving on the dance floor in our early twenties, to sitting shoulder to shoulder through our golden years. Want to have a solid grouping to do this with? No matter your age, with these little tips, you’ll find your tribe in no time, and they’ll stick, too!

Copyright 2020,

VIABeverley Miles