What can you do to make people like you? Do you need to work hard to impress them? Do you need to be witty, have perfect clothes and hair, or drive a gleaming new car? Do you have to be the life of the party? None of those things are necessary. Making people like you is much easier than that. In fact, one simple technique can make all the difference.
“Whenever you meet someone new, treat the meeting as a treasure hunt. Assume there is something about this stranger that you will like and admire. Your job, as a treasure hunter, is to find out what it is.”
- What is one thing that everybody wants?
- How can you like someone you don’t even know?
- What is one thing that pushes people away?
- What should you always do?
What is one thing that everybody wants?
Almost everyone wants to be liked. If you like them, chances are high they will like you back. It’s as easy as that. If you want to make people like you quickly, then show that you like them. This simple, straightforward formula is the secret to making new friends wherever you go. But there is a catch —
How can you like someone you don’t even know?
People are often cautious or reserved when meeting someone new. You may believe that you can’t judge whether you like someone or not until you get to know them well, over time. Or you may make snap judgments, deciding instantly that you probably won’t like this person.
Either way, you are putting unnecessary barriers between yourself and the people you meet.
The secret for making people like you is take a leap of faith. Consider that, for all our differences, on some level we are all the same — all human beings existing together on this planet. Have faith that there is at least one significant thing that you have in common with any person that you meet.
You just have to find it. Approach the process with a light heart, as if it were a game. Whenever you meet someone new, treat the meeting as a treasure hunt. Assume there is something about this stranger that you will like and admire. Your job, as a treasure hunter, is to find out what it is.
This works on two levels. The other person will sense your genuine interest in finding out more about them and will respond positively. Then, when you find your “treasure,” your point of commonality, you have a foundation to start building an on-going relationship, if that is something you want to pursue.
What is one thing that pushes people away?
The process of making people like you is easy, but it’s also easy to short-circuit. You can only fully focus on one thing at a time. If you start focusing your attention on yourself by worrying about what kind of impression you are making, then you lose your focus on the other person — and you lose the connection.
What should you always do?
Keep your focus on the “treasure hunt” — on searching for things about the other person that you like and admire. Treat it as a meditation. If your thoughts start drifting into worrying about yourself, gently bring them back to being curious about the other person.
This technique works in all situations — at parties, at work, chatting with someone in a grocery store line, or on a date. Try it, and you will find your life being enriched with new connections every day.