There are so many of us out there that struggle with telling people no. As a result, we end up doing things we never wanted to do in the first place. Does this sound like you? Are you a people pleaser? If you are, you may have recognized that saying yes when you really want to say no has brought you unwanted stress and unhappiness. The good news is that you can learn how to say no easily – without compromising friendships and relationships.
The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.
– Warren Buffet.
Decide What You Want
When you decide what you really want, it makes it easy to tell people what you will and won’t do. This is especially true when you’ve reached a point where you’re tired of saying yes to things that don’t serve you well. First, make the decision to do what you really want. Even the empty spots in your schedule are not available as they are on reserve by you for your own limited free time. Once you decide this, you can honestly tell someone, “No, thanks. I have something else going on at that time.” Easy.
Healthy to Be Selfish? Yup.
You’ve got lots on your plate already. Adding something else to it will only stress you more than you already are. Saying “no” is healthy and doing so is something you can and should do without guilt. After all, you can’t help others if you haven’t helped yourself first.
It’s Better for Them, Too
It’s better to be up front about why you can’t help right now than to accept a job that you won’t be able to finish. The other person is more likely to respect your decision if they understand that you’re busy.
Still No Great Excuse? No Problem.
Even if you just simply don’t feel like making a commitment to someone else, do something, or see someone at the moment, just think. How long can I pretend I’m enjoying myself? And what is pretending even worth? If you’re not enjoying yourself, it’s simply not worth being there. Life’s too short for that kind of stuff.
The Best Way to Say No
You don’t even have to use the word “no.” Lessen the sting of what your friend may view as rejection by explaining that you’ve been overextended lately. Your friend may take the news better and you won’t feel guilty for it.
But that friend who constantly asks you for favors and takes advantage of your good nature? Don’t feel guilty about letting him know that you’ve been helping a lot lately and that it’s becoming a bit too much. The honesty will prove healthy for both of you.
Still Feel Guilty for Rejecting Someone?
Simply say yes to a later date when you’ve taken care of your own needs!
Kindness is important and it can have many feel-good effects. But, when it becomes overwhelming or interferes with your own responsibilities, it can take a toll on your health. Knowing what your priorities are and how to say “no” when it becomes too much are invaluable ways of taking care of yourself and managing your time so you can live a less stressful, happier life.
Think it’s time to start taking care of YOU first? Just imagine what you could do with so much extra time on your hands! What will you do with it?