There are so many of us out there that struggle with telling people no. As a result, we end up doing things we never wanted to do in the first place. Does this sound like you? Are you a people pleaser? If you are, you may have recognized that saying yes when you really want to say no has brought you unwanted stress and unhappiness. The good news is that you can learn how to say no easily – without compromising friendships and relationships.
1) Decide What You Want
The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.
– Warren Buffet.
When you decide what you really want, it makes it easy to tell people what you will and won’t do. This is especially true when you’ve reached a point where you’re tired of saying yes to things that don’t serve you well. First, make the decision to do what you really want. Even the empty spots in your schedule are not available as they are on reserve by you for your own limited free time. Once you decide this, you can honestly tell someone, “No thanks. I have something else going on at that time.” That something else is you taking care of you because that is what you’ve decided.
2) Your Response is a Gift
Because so many of us feel compelled to say yes for fear of being disliked, we don’t realize that saying no can actually be a gift to the other person. When we show people our strengths instead of our weaknesses, that energy is received in a positive way. It’s called impression of increase. Impression of increase is when you convey actions to others that show you’re confident in who you are and that you’re willing to do what you need to do to be successful and happy. Sharing that gift, even in silence, is something that can make both you and the other person happy.
3) Compliment Them
There are some people out there simply won’t take no for an answer. We’ve all experienced these people. At work, at home, and anywhere else we deal with people regularly. The best way to gently tell them no is to compliment them at the same time. Say something like, “That sounds like a great idea, but I’m afraid I don’t have the time to be a part of it right now.” Most of the time we feel we need to explain ourselves to people. We really don’t.
Bear these tips in mind the next time you’re about to tell someone yes but really want to tell them no. Your happiness is the most important thing you have when it comes to your health and peace of mind.